Music in the garden

Last year two volunteers came who are doing music with a teacher in Kolkatta. This year they visited again as they were with their teacher who is doing a concert at the Pondy ashram.

We were lucky enough to have one of them playing music while we worked this morning. It was really beautiful and brought a very harmonious vibration to the garden.

Shreds of black

This is the image I had when I heard that someone who is representing the Farm group in another group has been expelled for acting improperly. I used to be the representative in that group and the person who took over from me was the same person who was instrumental in making sure that I didn't do any further work in the Farm group.

I feel so bad about how it has brought the Farm group even further down in everyone's estimation.

Securing the centre

This picture arose from a meeting of us three Buddha Garden Aurovilians. Nothing was decided but I felt that we had secured the centre and what anchors us. That is what I have tried to express in this picture.

Funnily enough it feels as if in securing the centre we make it possible for Buddha Garden and the people in it to grow in different directions. With a strong centre we can accommodate all our differences.

Topsy turvey

This is a picture that just came from my pen, but it seems to be a pretty good representation of what I am feeling. I think Pierre wants to do something on his own – to have his own piece of land and maybe even leave Buddha Garden. But he doesn't recognise it and instead he sees me as trying to stop him from doing what he wants to do.

I feel everything is in flux, but I notice that in the picture, even when upside down my shoulders and arms are firmly on the ground. So hopefully there will be a way through all this without destroying the place.

Picture our new fence

We have heard that the Government surveyor is coming next week to show where the disputed boundary is. Once the boundary has been determined we then have to put up the fence as quickly as possible to avoid further problems. Which means we have to get all the fencing materials together and be ready to go as soon as the surveyor is finished.

This is a map I did as part of a request for fencing funds.  

Enough to make my teeth hurt!

This is poor Sam holding his face and looking very fed up because his teeth are hurting as they come through! He has been feeling quite ill this last day or so but is apparently on the mend now.

He looked the same as I felt after the Farm group meeting today! It was enough to make my teeth hurt, even although I was not personally attacked as in some meetings. The level of discourse didn't rise much above the sort of politicking that happens when everyone is trying to get what they want for themselves.

Not very inspiring to say the least. 

Another embroidery pattern?

When I took pictures for the Buddha Garden facebook page today I also got this picture of basil. I thought it might be a good start to an embroidery pattern.

I will have to see as in the end I didn't manage to get a pattern out of the squirrel picture.

Lunch out.

Lunch again at Ananda Inn, this time with Vivek. Heard some of his inspiring stories about the work he is doing with the cotton farmers in Maharastra. We also talked about Buddha Garden and I think I am now a bit clearer about what I need to stay there and feel that it is OK.

I have spent a lot of the day going through all the soft copy material about Alexei and now I have to start on all the hard copy stuff. Once again I have been amazed at the intensity of some of the experiences and wondered why I took on such a responsibility. I think it was because I felt that Alexei should be given the opportunity to change. Although of course in the end he didn't want to do so.

Disturbed

Didn't go to the Foodlink inauguration but felt very disturbed about it. I didn't want to be with people with whom I don't feel in tune. On the other hand what is the point of being in Auroville if I am not working with others? This is after all meant to be a collective project.

I dug up this picture of the old Foodlink while John was running it.

We sat with Pierre and managed to sort out the money issues, which basically means moving money around between the accounts. As from April 1^st he will be handling all his own financial strings so hopefully that will make things a lot calmer between all of us.

Rachael's birthday to day and she has celebrated by getting the keys to her own house. I am amazed at how she got the money together given that she has never done a day's paid work in all the time she was at university. She must have managed her money very well as although I gave her something it wasn't nearly enough for the deposit.

Symbol of hope

Vivek came back today with a very inspiring account of what he has been doing in Maharastra with some cotton farmers. There have been a lot of suicides and yet they are coming together and Vivek is trying to help them become more resilient. One of the things he suggested was some sort extra activities so that farmers didn't rely just on cotton. Some women got together and produced this umbrella made of scraps of wool and wire. Which he gave to me.

I love the bright colours and I felt hopeful as I sat and held it and we talked. I think it is a symbol of hope and the first step towards creating something different for this group of people.

My squirrel

I have decided that I would like to try embroidering a squirrel and have downloaded this picture to use as pattern. I have tried to get the outline as I did with the hibiscus flower but the squirrel doesn't work at all. I don't know why because I am using exactly the same technique.

Maybe I am too tired. I had a very busy work time followed by having to rush out and go to a meeting. When I came back after cycling through the hot sun I did not feel too good and had to drink a huge amount of water and eat lunch before I started feeling better.

I must look after myself better. But I think what I really need to do more than anything else is try and resolve my conflicted feelings about being here. Maybe I need to go and talk to someone.

Potent symbols

Yesterday during my yoga class during the last relaxation Angela said there was a little squirrel on the windowsill watching us. Then when I was riding a home a green snake crossed my path and I felt very pleased about it.

It was as if I was in a dream and that is how I created the picture. Squirrels are about playfulness but I have often had squirrels come to me in dreams at important times in my life. Snakes can be a bad omen but I felt so pleased when I saw this one, which was beautiful, that I feel it symbolises the burst of positive energy that snakes can bring.

I think I want to leave Buddha Garden. Trying to hold the energy has become a battle that I no longer want to fight. Either that or I have to find another way of being here that does not involve me in a constant battle to keep the energy as I would like it to be.

Last of the lettuce

Very pleased to plant the last of the lettuce seedlings today.

Very pleased not to have to look at another lettuce plant until the next season starts in December!

Good and bad happenings

Today we had an encroachment with the land owner next door coming to cut down and take away one of the trees. At the same time dear Kireet came with a JCB to work on the ponds. He said that recently all the places where he has been working had problems with encroachment as soon as he arrived!

The encroachment problem has not been solved but reports have been written and telephone calls made. So hopefully things have been put in process so that it can eventually be resolved and a proper fence put up. At least everything is quiet at the moment.

The ponds look great. The picture is of the small pond that I particularly like that is on top of the old well. Kireet made a new spillway so it holds more water before over flowing to the stream that goes by the date tree.

Hibiscus embroidered

I was amazed that I managed to finish this embroidery this morning and really enjoyed doing it. In fact I have enjoyed every part of the process from drawing the pattern to putting the pattern onto the fabric to completing the embroidery.

I will watch out for other things I can turn into similar embroidery pictures and try other combinations of thread and fabric colours.

Hibiscus

I was looking at my old shopping bag this morning and seeing the beautiful embroidery of Buddha on it. The Buddha is very intricate and done in a gold coloured thread on a dark red background. I thought I would try something similar.

Going through my photos I came across a picture of a hibiscus which I then used my art software to make the above drawing from which to embroider. I have got the usual problem of how to get the design onto the fabric especially as the design is quite intricate and the fabric a rather dark colour. But I have some ideas on that and hopefully something will work out.

Very good to have another project to get going.

This is the original photograph used to make the design.

A drop of damp

Its got a lot hotter this past week so I was very surprised to see the dampness on some basil plants this morning. It was enough to create a drop of dew at the tip of one of the leaves.

It felt such a welcome relief to feel this dampness knowing that it was going to get much hotter during the day.

Expressing colours

I was out cycling and saw this hedgerow which included several bougainvillea bushes with flowers of different colours. It looked wonderful and I haven't done it justice in the picture. So I looked up online how to do it and practised some new brush techniques with the picture below. I really enjoyed myself and must do it more often.

Flowing in the garden

We have been so busy in the garden these last days that we had an extra afternoon session today. I really wish that I had remembered my camera as it was a very happy time and I think everyone enjoyed themselves doing something different from planting lettuces.

In the picture I tried to show the flowing that I felt as we worked. Flowing with each other and the earth in which we were planting sweet potatoes to improve the soil over the hot season.

Over my head

Had a most confused meeting today. I think most of the problem was that although I had got together the agenda there was no chair person- although I have sorted that out for next time. I sat there typing up the notes but felt as if all the discussion was just washing over my head.

I really wonder about this job though. I don't feel that I do very much or that the group has very much, if any, authority. It seems to be jogging along but I am not sure in which direction it should be going. I have had some ideas about this but nothing seems to have materialised.

Who I met today

There were only two people came to the introductory talk today but I was greatly touched by this man. He has a farm in the Orkneys which he developed with his wife over the last 30 years. She died very suddenly two years ago and he is obviously still struggling with grief.

I really enjoyed talking and being with him. I got details about his farm from the web and it looks lovely. He invited me to go and I think I will if I have the time – although I would have to fly I think as it takes a long time to go by train.

Did it!

I feel very pleased with myself as I managed to sort out the installation problems on my new tablet today. The above picture is of the bark of the palmyra tree which is what I am using as wallpaper on the new tablet.

Tony was cremated today but I didn't feel to go and sat in my house thinking positive thoughts instead. A long term volunteer has just had to rush off to his mother in Mysore because his sister committed suicide very much like Kim. It brought it all back to me.

Have managed to do quite a bit of material gathering about Alexie and I see that various themes are emerging.

Technology twiddle

This is a picture of my new smaller tablet which I have spent all day trying to make it work how I like it. There are some apps that I just cannot get to work and the installation processes that I have got from the internet don't seem to work either.

I am very disappointed and I think it shows that I must not buy stuff like this when I am depressed. I didn't research it enough to see whether it was really the tablet for me or not.

I don't know what I am going to do as being smaller, this is a much better tablet to carry around with me. But it doesn't do all of what I want......

Working together

Was too busy to think much about a picture for today so I've used one of the ones I took yesterday to post on the Buddha Garden Facebook page.

I really like the picture because it shows us all working together. Although what it doesn't show so well is that the group had found its rhythm and was more than just a collection of people working side by side. This is something I always find very powerful to experience.

Feeling out of tune

I went to a meeting where, for the second time this week, I felt really out of tune with most of the people and what was going on.

It felt quite uncomfortable.

Doodle

I have been so busy today responding to a lot of different people and situations.  Yet I don't feel I have got a lot done.  Not surprisingly I did not feel very inspired so I doodled for a bit and  found these colours very soothing to work with.

Cannot get going

I was hoping to start a new embroidery project today but I just cannot get going. I drew a design which was supposed to be bougainvillea flowers, but they didn't look a bit like them! I then tried a more abstract design but that didn't work either and had to be unpicked.

This hasn't been helped by a lot of disruptions in particular a volunteer who doesn't want to abide by the conditions of staying here but doesn't want to go either. I've also had a group of students turn up wanting to look around and had to put off another group who wanted to come immediately after lunch when it is very hot. And of course being Sunday I have had all the watering to do.

Maybe I have to be a bit more quiet so the right design emerges.... 

Sign of hot weather

I know it has got hotter because today the coconut oil lost its milky look and went clear.

In these first hot and humid days I always wonder how I am going to manage the summer. But as the heat gradually rises by the time it gets really hot I am used to it.