Grey and damp and busy 20190726

Did both school projects today.  At the first one I showed them the picture book and we talked about building the nursery.  At the second one I gave the students the first version of the book and looked at the garden.  For some reason their bean seedlings haven’t done very well.  Although some of them are starting to grow again.

I feel I am getting everything together to go now.  Which is just as well as I only have four more days before I go.  Finished another video and even managed to upload it.  On Facebook as I am still waiting for Youtube to do its stuff.

Chuntering along 20190725

Spent the morning getting one video completed and almost completing another one.  I am very pleased indeed.  Again, don’t feel too stressed about it because I stopped doing the work when I felt I had had enough.  I feel I can do that now while with the weekly video there seems more of a push for what I ‘must do’.

Got my teeth cleaned but they were too bad for the dentist to do in one go.  Have got to go back when I come back.  Also got my air ticket and found out that I can sign in 48 hours in advance instead of the usual 24 hours.  Glad I found out as otherwise all the good seats would have gone!

Very interesting 20190724

Have managed to almost get another video done.  How we created the outside eating area part two.  Very pleased that extra videos seem to be coming along without too much stress.

Went to a very long (four hours) but very interesting meeting this afternoon.  I still can’t see how I am going to have enough time to do it regularly though.  Is this what I am meant to be doing?  Does it make my heart sing? Not at the moment.

Like lace 20190723

Went out and did a lot of pictures today.  Am going to make a video about the explosion of flowers in the garden right now.  I would also like to get videos done that I can schedule while I am away.

The picture is of a male lukki plant which I think is like laceand rather lovely.

Different 20190722

A grey and wet day but lovely for planting and weeding.  Feel very different today, not wrung out and shaky, but more stable and with more energy.  Maybe it was the bike ride yesterday or maybe its because of where I have got to with the book. 

Who knows? I don’t but I will enjoy it while I have it.

The picture is of the decay area in the garden of unseen helpers.  The rain will get the process of decay going again.

So far so good 20190721

Spent the day editing the word book during which time I finished two sections of new writing.  Amazed at how it all flowed.  I did that and a new video but didn’t end the day feeling absolutely exhausted like I usually do.

This may have been because I went for a bike ride.  I decided that I really must get out and started off towards the Irumbai temple which I thought would be a nice place to go.  But I couldn’t stand the traffic so came back and had a ride through the Auroville forest instead. 

I feel that at last the book is ‘out there’.  Not finished but in a form where it is separate from me.  I took today’s picture for the video to show how the very small seedlings are coming on.  ‘So far so good’ is the caption which is how I feel about the book.

Changes 20190720

Yesterday I got this idea about how to change how both books are put together.  I spent this morning working on two sections of the book and by the end got totally freaked.  Fortunately I had lunch with a friend who managed to calm me down.

This afternoon I did far more work on the word book than I expected. The new organization of the books make them much better.  I’ve changed things around in the picture book and will get the new version sent to the printer tomorrow. I’ve decided I will take three print outs to the UK with me.

I loved having the big screen back to do this work.

Phew.  But I do feel I am getting there one way or the other.  I am even organizing myself to get things done for going to the UK.  This includes getting my brown teeth properly cleaned and a haircut.

The colouring books! 20190719

I see that I am resisting starting to edit the word book.  It means letting go of the picture book and really getting into doing the word book.  I decided I would just do it – so I did.  I managed to get some of it done although not very sure of the quality.  Maybe it just needs a bit of time to get into it again.

Got my new cable and 20 copies of the picture book this afternoon.  I am SO pleased that I have got the big screen back!!!  My eyes have felt so gritty while having to work on just the small screen.  Especially while doing videos.

Resisting 20190718

Spent the morning doing a huge amount of admin work.  I see that’s something I have not been doing well – allocating my time.  Once I agreed with myself this was the time to do admin work I got a lot done.

Feel I am resisting starting on the last edit of the word book.

I took this picture for the video which is reminder of how hot it has been.  Already I am starting to forget…..

First print 20190717

Immediately after work I rushed over to the Town Hall and got the first print.  Its not perfect as it has to be edited and professionally laid out.  Had a nice warm feeling inside me as I carried it back to Buddha Garden though.

Spent all afternoon in a meeting.  They are all nice people and it is very interesting, but it involves me in so much work.  I don’t see how I can carry on long term.  I see how interesting things to do can be such a distraction for me.

Sorted 20190716

I decided to go to the printing place at Town Hall and see what sorts of printing they could offer me.  I would really like something that doesn’t involve too much plastic.  We talked about various possibilities and agreed that he would do one copy for me to make sure it was OK before he did the other 20.

Am SO glad that I went.  I felt better for the exercise and we were able to sort out things more easily face to face.  Went back home did the very last editing and sent it to him to print.  By the evening he had finished the one copy! Very pleased.

Feeling immobile 20190715

Today I felt tired from the weekend and overwhelmed with things to do. 

Did the last illustrations for the book which was about the earth going around the sun and where the seasons come from.  I hope they do eventually learn about seasons and their impact on food growing.  It was something that didn’t feature in the last book and when I explained about the seasons most of them seemed to ignore it.

Now the first book is finished I had a look at the second one.  Was horrified at how I feel. I have no energy or enthusiasm for it.  Perhaps I am going to have to wait until I get back before I do anything on it.

Finished everything 20190714

Despite feeling horrible I managed to get everything done.  This included the video although once again it wouldn’t upload on Youtube.  Its not my wifi because the Facebook upload was very fast.

Feel like I’ve been swimming through mud.

First edit completed 20190712

Determined to work on the book today so cancelled the Udavi school session.  Had to do admin work this morning but worked on the book(s) this afternoon.  Realised that because I did not work on the book yesterday I had in some ways lost touch with it.  Just what I didn’t want to do.

Managed to get back into it this afternoon and did first edit on the printed version.  Have changed the title and the title page.  Feel I am getting into the swing again.

Rained last night – enough to have puddles in the ponds this morning.  Feel that the season has turned and the summer rains have started.

Is Auroville the right place for me to do my creative work? When there is so much practical work to do can I be selfish enough to focus on my creative work here?  Is there a better place for me to be?

The picture shows the first water in the pond.

Rhythms ruptured 20190711

Did not feel well this morning even working in the garden. I think because I feel so pressured by everything I have to get done. 

In the end I didn’t get a chance to work on my book today.  I had to work on preparing for the meeting this morning and then going to the meeting this afternoon.  This was interesting and effective but meant I have done admin work all day.  Relief at getting through all the work has made me feel a lot better.

This morning we got the ‘decay’ section of the garden of unseen helpers finished.  Really good to know I'm not pushing for absolutely everything I want to do.  Some things just come along on their own.

First rain 20190710

This is a picture of almost our first rain last night.  Temperature has gone down a lot and it feels like we have moved on from the hot season.

Had to go to an extra meeting this afternoon.  Very interesting but now have a lot of work to do to prepare for the weekly meeting tomorrow.

Started doing the editing on the printed page but didn’t get very far. 

I don’t like working like this when I feel I don’t have the time to do anything properly.

Drowned in admin work 20190709

Wasted my time with a boring meeting this morning.  Then had to work twice as hard this afternoon to get a lot of admin stuff done.  The picture is part of a whole lot of pictures I used for a report on someone who is encroaching on our land.

Reminded me  that I don’t like working like this.

Book is now printed out and I can’t wait to read it on the page.

Now I have got to start thinking about the second book which I think of as its twin.

Book is born 20190708

Finished the book enough to get it printed out for the first time.  I feel it has been born, that its out there even although there is still work to do on it.

We started the preliminary clearing up for the display ‘Garden of unseen helpers’.  Amazing how this work started without me having to push anything or anyone.

An odd experience 20190707

Had an odd experience when I felt that I had to get some things done before I started on the book.  I felt if I did the book first I would be too tired to do these other things afterwards.  But the book was insistent and even although I started doing the other things ideas about the book kept intruding. In the end I couldn’t not do it.

I rewrote and did new illustrations.  And what was wonderful was that I had plenty of energy to do everything else that needed doing.  This included a video as well as a discussion paper.

Maybe its following my intuition that keeps my energy up.  Rather than try to get too organized about how I do the work.  Its great to feel the book has got its own energy now.

The picture is of the new students I saw on Friday with their first experience of planting.

Too busy again 20190706

I am feeling very overwhelmed with work again.  Joining this new group was not a good idea as it seems to generate so much to read and write.  Although it is interesting and with good people.

Miraculously I finished two sections of the book today – animals, which I had to rewrite and insects for which I had to finish the illustrations.  I also had a lovely lunch with Isha and organized the editing with Bindu who I saw there.

How am I going to get everything done? There is a video to do, plus all the stuff for the group.  And I would like to carry on with the book which feels like it is getting birthed now.

Where is the rain? 20190705

Had a long conversation with the volunteer staying here and hope I conveyed the reality of the situation.  I feel rather sorry for him that he gets embroiled in an ‘Auroville situation’ like this, but as he wants to become Aurovilian its probably good practice!

Managed to do the notes and letters of yesterday’s meeting as well as finishing the writing on the animal section.  I’m not very happy about it so at some point I think I will need to rewrite it.  Its difficult to find suitable pictures for this section as well.

I love this picture – with the cirrus clouds that normally shows rain is on the way.

Busy day 20190704

Went to two meetings today, one of which I had to organize the lunch and write the notes.  The first one was right over in Kuilapalayam and the first time I had attended.  It was more relaxing than usual because the people involved seemed to have less baggage than is usual in the meetings I attend.

Decided not to fill the whole day with admin work.  This afternoon did some illustrations for the animals section rather than try and finish the admin stuff first.

Horrible conversation 20190703

Had to try and sort out something for a new volunteer who has started living in Pierre’s part of Buddha Garden without us being informed.  Had a really horrible conversation with Pierre when it was obvious that he is unwilling to even listen to what I am saying.  I don’t think we can ever come to some kind of agreement just by talking at each other.

Worked very very hard at the illustrations and managed to finish the plant section.

Felt supported 20190702

We have had a volunteer doing the design for the bench outside the kitchen.  I had a really nice conversation with her while she finished it off this morning before leaving after lunch.

She is a graphic designer working for an environmental organization in London.  It was really nice to talk to someone about visual arts and all the different things this includes.

I felt much better when I got back to doing my illustrations.

Ploughing through 20190701

I started doing the section on plants today.  That means I am getting towards being half way through but I have a lot of illustrations to do for this section.