Mandala

I began this day by making this mandala for Kim in the middle of the stone circle that we cleaned and cleared up yesterday. The idea was that anyone who wanted to could go and light a candle, but probably not many people got the chance to do so because it rained quite heavily later in the morning.

I spent most of the rest of the morning cleaning and clearing up in Kim's old room which included the uggy bits where the body had leaked. I used bleach and found the smell very comforting as when I was nurse the smell of bleach indicated that something had been properly cleaned! The room felt a lot better once I had done that and then cleared up all the stuff into bags. I found a huge amount of cigarette packets and butts which means that she was smoking much more than she was admitting to me. There were also several booze bottles.

Unfortunately Pierre and I are arguing about what should happen next. He wants to break down the house, but I have told him he can only do it if he can provide the Rs8 – 10 laks it will take to build another dwelling. Failing that he wants to burn all her possessions which includes all the bedding and quite a lot of plastic as well as all her books. I would have more sympathy if she had died on the bed, but she didn't and it seems such a polluting and unnecessary thing to do. Now he is talking to people who are writing to me and telling me that I really have to do this. I think that it is pointless to try and brush away the darkness and although there may be a few things that need burning, the most important thing to do is to bring light to the place to dispel the darkness. I think we could do that by remodelling the place so that it would attract more people.

We have argued a lot and I cannot see a way to resolve it amicably as Pierre is very adamant about what needs to happen. I feel too tired to have to deal with this at the moment.