Very fragile

I am feeling incredibly fragile. As if I am covered with points and I am rolling around and every time a point hits something it hurts. This is my picture of how it feels.

I find I am worrying all the time. Every little twinge I feel in my body I am convinced there is something badly wrong – especially with my heart. Everything in my body feels very tight, especially my stomach, and the only thing that seems to help that is going out for a bike ride or going to yoga or preferably both. I also find myself with very dark thoughts a lot of the time. Everything seems very grey and I feel too old to get excited about anything or believe that there are any good things left for me in this world. Or that I have anything of value to give to the world.

I do not want to see the doctor as I am sure she will just want me to have a lot of invasive tests that I do not want because she cannot trust her own judgement now I am so old. I have made an appointment with a homeopath but I did not feel good about her talking to her on the phone. I don't feel there is anyone I can talk to about it.