Dancing with my devil 20191124

Somehow I have managed to finish and upload the Buddha Garden video I started yesterday.  I have also spoken to Kardash about the audio guide as well as finishing this picture.  As well as thought about the video to launch the book.

I have a peculiar reluctance to do the last edit and index for the book.  But that is the next job…..

I created this picture instead of doing my book.  I really enjoyed doing it and I like the result.  It was what happened during the session yesterday.  So far no message.

Now I feel too tired to tackle the book!

Re-acquainting with my devil 20191123

Very upset to hear from the volunteer who went to Buddha Garden yesterday who told me that there was nothing ready for him.  I was so upset because I thought I had arranged everything with two other volunteers.  Had to go to Buddha Garden this morning to sort everything out as well as deliver some of the shopping – its too heavy on my bike to take it all at once. The volunteer came with a friend staying in Auroville and everything worked out although he is sick as well.  He caught a bug from the plane!

I don’t know how I am going to be able to carry on like this as obviously the building work is going to take much longer than expected.  Its getting busier and busier. And not living there is very challenging.  Tried to find a room at an Auroville hotel near to Buddha Garden but they are completely booked.

Despite all this went to my Goshin Tai session where this devil was very much in evidence.  He came to me last time when I was in Central France and through him I recovered from my first lot of eating problems.  He reminds me of Ganesha and he carries a trident like Siva.

Rain and mud 20191122

It rained so hard that the school session was cancelled.  This was a relief as I had spent the morning cycling around in the rain and didn’t want to get any wetter.  But it meant I couldn’t measure up for the nursery and get that job done.

Before I left spent some time with Bahkia talking about the menu for next week.  This will require some shopping.  I also organised something for a volunteer who is supposed to be coming today. So many jobs and living so far away from Buddha Garden makes it more difficult to get them done. 

Explodaing 20191121

Another very busy day.  Went to get the draft copy of my book and fell down on the path just outside the Prisma office door.  It was raining and the bricks were very slippery because they were covered with algae/moss.  It was a rather peculiar sensation of falling as I felt it in slow motion.  At the same time I felt as if things were exploding.  Despite scraping off the skin on my elbow everything else seems OK.  Apparently they had been asking the gardener to deal with those bricks for some time and my fall gave them an excuse to get it done immediately.

While in the office I realised I hadn’t got my phone with me and thought I might have left it in Buddha Garden.  As I was in a taxi I went back to Buddha Garden but couldn’t find it.  Gave me a chance to talk to Rajan who is looking better.  Very pleased when I got back to Surrender to find the phone on my table. 

I feel I have been jolted in some way and that this in a funny way is helping me with my eating problems.

Overwhelmed again 20191120

This morning I arrived in Buddha Garden to find that Rajan was still sick.  I felt and still feel overwhelmed.   This despite the fact I managed to get everything done which included teaching a session at Transition School.

On a trip to the Town Hall to collect the printing that I didn’t have time to collect yesterday I met two people who used to know Rachael.  They were delighted to hear she is getting married.  One of them saw my poster about water and the problems of water in Auroville.  We had a very rich discussion about it.

Growing food is my passion but I’m not sure how to move forward with it.  I feel I don’t want to be responsible for Buddha Garden but don’t know where else I could express myself fully.

A challenging day 20191119

Had so much to do today and feel tired after all that cycling around.  Jobs included a lot of shopping as well as a trip to Udavi school with the architect to show where the new nursery is going to be.  I enjoyed meeting her.

This blue flower was, I think, telling me to keep cool.  And I did just about manage to get everything done – I think maybe because someone who wanted to see me cancelled.

I must remember that there is time for everything that needs to get done.

Bursting into activity! 20191118

I could hardly believe my ears this morning when the generator burst into life and activity began on the building site at 9.30am.  On a Monday!!  Presumably money is needed by someone….

Rajan is not very well so not doing very much which made it extra challenging.  I find keeping abreast of everything that needs doing quite challenging.    And living away from Buddha Garden makes it much worse.

Creative works 20191117

I spent all morning doing this picture which I’m really pleased with as it more or less shows what I saw in my heart.  This picture was the message as there were no words.

I’ve had a good idea about shelves in the kitchen.  I’ve got some unused shelves in Buddha Garden that I think could be used in the kitchen here.

Divine Grace 20191116

Once again a very powerful Goshin Tai So session where this flower – Mother called it ‘Divine Grace’ – was very evident.  Apparently it’s a part of the hibiscus family.  It starts out white in the morning and then turns pink by sunset.  This week the picture was the message from the liver and gall bladder.

Got the video not only finished but uploaded by lunch time.  So maybe I get a day off tomorrow. Ha ha ha.

Getting through 20191115

At least the sun came through today after rain yesterday.  Still very damp after rain overnight though.

Had to cycle to Buddha Garden twice today after Ravikrishna phoned to say he needed all sorts of things for the session today.  Not only did this make me late for the session but I was also tired!

Managed to do something on the video so at least I am ahead with that.  Some weeks the story of the video comes easier than others and this week it came relatively easier.

Reorganised! 20191114

Woke up very early this morning wondering when I am going to find the time to do all the things I need to do in Buddha Garden.  Couldn’t get back to sleep.  At least I could get on with reorganising the kitchen this morning.  Very pleased to have taken all the rice and other dry goods and put them into these square tins.  I can get a lot more in the cupboard now.  I think tomorrow I will try and finish doing the spices.

I really must stop worrying and just do things step by step.  As well as giving myself enough time off.  I’m going to the more active yoga today but am not sure about the wisdom of doing that.  I think it might have been better to go to the more restorative class.  Except I felt I couldn’t take the afternoon off to do it!

A trip to Pondy 20191113

Went to Puducherry today to buy irrigation pipes (the shop where we did this is where the picture was taken) as well as storage tins for the kitchen.  Pleased with everything we bought so I can continue getting the kitchen organised tomorrow.

The sister of Joseph who is doing the building has died.  Its so sad because last time Joseph was building in Buddha Garden some years ago was when it was found that she had cancer. 

I feel extremely tired and have felt that way since I stopped taking the vitamin B.  Have got some more pills and will see if it makes any difference.  I think not because the reason I am tired is probably that I am trying to do too much…..

As usual.

More about the building 20191112

The builder turned up this morning, thank goodness.  But is very unclear when he is going to finish.  He had some story about one of his men getting very drunk over the weekend and therefore unable to work.  He says he will finish in ten days but then balked when I told him this meant November 22^nd. ‘Oh maybe not by then….’

More people are coming in the morning which makes for much more work getting down and a very productive atmosphere.  Got a bit nervous about breakfast but was able to use the new blender for the first time to make a lovely soup.

The picture is of the poster I made for the school session tomorrow.

More tooth grinding 20191111

Got to work today and got very annoyed. The only builder to turn up for work was one of Joseph’s men who came to help the roof contractor - who didn’t turn up.  Apparently he decided to take a holiday! I could feel my teeth grinding ever harder!!

Its so annoying given that rain is expected on Wednesday which presumably means that building work will stop again.  I phoned Joseph who says he hasn’t worked with this crew before although he checked that their work was OK before taking them on.  He couldn’t use his usual people because the person in charge had an accident and cannot work for six months.

I decided to focus on making breakfast.  Bhakia is very patient with me.

A very quiet day 20191110

Spent the morning doing the video which I managed to get uploaded before lunch.  Otherwise I have been doing odd jobs like getting the washing done and then getting it dried while there has been some sun.

I’ve used a picture for today that I took several days ago of our first misty morning.  Generally they come with the cool season, but surely there will be a bit more rain…. I have felt very tired all day.

Another poerful session 20191109

Had another really powerful session of Goshin Tai So which expanded on the message which I received last week.  I feel I was shown where my real strength lies.

I recorded the audio guide (at last!) and it was really nice doing it in a quiet studio.  Kardash has got some lovely ideas for adding music to it.  By chance I saw Angela who has just returned to Auroville and went to her yoga class this evening.  It finishes after dark so next time I will have to walk there.

My limits 20191108

I came up against my limits today.  This was after a very busy morning where I fitted in an extra meeting after spending time organising the Buddha Garden kitchen.  I rushed back for lunch after which I did a school session.  Then Rajan and I went to the Botanical Gardens supposedly to get some medicinal plants.  Except there wasn’t anyone there and I just couldn’t face hanging around any more.

So we aborted the trip and I got back around 5.00pm and opened my computer for the first time.  I’m glad I didn’t try and push beyond my limits.  When I saw this picture as I uploaded my video clips I thought it was just what I needed to feel better!  I love the colour.

At last! 20191107

Vivek has gone away again to Delhi because his brother is sick again.  I didn’t realise but he hadn’t even left hospital.  So I am looking after the house again.

At last the builders have returned.  We have to put up with the noise of the generator but at least the work is ongoing.  I am so busy I have to keep rescheduling the audio guide recording.  I am finding it tough to do the breakfast although someone new arrived today and hopefully she can be trained to do the work.  I find it hard to create enough time to do the work as its at a time when everyone seems to want to talk to me.  The disorganised kitchen and Vasantha arriving late makes me very frustrated.

Still no building 20191106

Had a really lovely session at the school.  I do enjoy teaching but of course it takes a lot of energy.

Despite having delivered the generator – for which I presume we are paying.  They STILL haven’t restarted building.

Spent the rest of the day quietly wondering what I should be doing.  I feel that I want a new project.

Tooth grindingly annoying 20191105

Had a good session of yoga with Grace.  I even managed to do a few handstand exercises.  But then I got freaked out and couldn’t do anymore.  The problem is in my head not my body which I think has got the strength to do it.

The rain has gone for the time being.  Yet the nothing happens with the building.  VERY annoying.

Tried to see the sun 20191104

First morning mist today with what I call a ‘cold season sunrise’ where the sun’s orb rises in the sky behind the mist.  Unfortunately the picture didn’t come out properly because the sun is still too bright in the mornings.

Have just written the book synopsis which came to me while cycling around this morning. I love it when that happens.  Especially when it’s the first time that I am really clear about what it is I have written.

Got an email from Grace who said that my body is delicate now and I have to take more care of it.  How I hate to hear that!  But she’s right of course.  I hate to think of my body limiting me for anything I want to do.  But it does  - except it doesn’t if I treat it with respect and kindness – and encourage instead of force it to do what I want.

Unexpectedly tired 20191103

Did a fair bit of work today which included getting the video done before lunch.  Tried to do some artwork this afternoon but just too tired.  This is the only picture I’ve got for today.  One I took for the company who made these shorts so I can show them the zip doesn’t work properly.

Ah well.

Another intense session 20191102

Had another intense Goshin Tai So session early this morning.  I wonder if it is that which is helping me flow more with what needs to be done.  Once again I had a very intense visual picture.

Have had some lovely conversations with Vivek who has a very bad cold.  I think it must be the Delhi air!!

The sun returns 20191101

Its so lovely to have the sun come out after all that rain.

Today I did the first pages of a rewrite of the picture book.  It just came…… so many  things seem to be just coming now.  I feel very blessed.

The sun returns 20191031

The rain has stopped for a bit I think and we see the sun every now and then.  But of course its very wet and muddy underfoot.

Its lovely to see the ponds full of water at last.

Intense rain 20191030

It has poured with rain all day and at one time I was cycling through it.  The rain felt extremely fierce then but sounds quite gentle now.  Unfortunately it has meant the electricity has gone off and I don’t know how long the batteries will last.

Have managed to make some calendars online that I am going to send out as Christmas presents.  Very pleased, and again rather surprised, that I managed to do it in time to get their special offer which finishes tomorrow.

The picture is of an imprint of rain left in the soil in Buddha Garden.

Work is flowing 20191029

Met to day with someone who is going to help me with the audio guide.  I am SO pleased.  We have planned to do the recording on Saturday which is much quicker than I thought it would be.  This afternoon I wrote the copy – which again was an unexpected bonus to get done so quickly.

The picture is of something I found (while I was looking for something else) which I lost in the UK! I can remember buying it in Tesco with Emma and then not being able to find it.  I assumed I’d left it at the shop.  Except I put it into one of the pockets in my rucksack.  Amazing how things do turn up especially as I’ve got a job where it will be really useful.

Ideas keep coming 20191028

Got up usual time and was able to finish the above poster before 8.00am.  I was surprised by how it looked and am very pleased with it.

Had two very long discussions with two people doing research.  I finished the posters for the new Garden of Unseen Helpers.  Which will be displays and posters about how insects and microbes are necessary for the food growing.

Next job is to organize the work in the garden and get it finished before we get people to come and look at it in mid December.

Diwali 20191027

Had a nice relaxing getup time after waking up with all the posters for the Garden of Unseen helpers in my mind.  I must have worked it out in my sleep.  Its nice hearing the Diwali crackers going off a long way away rather than just up the road in the village.

Found it very difficult to work this morning and only settled down after I had been for a walk.  It was good to see how my brain and body connected and how It really cleared everything.  Have had to use two different software to do the posters.  One is really complicated and it has been tough going.  But I have ended up with some posters I really like and I think I am gradually getting faster.

The picture is of the very strong image I had yesterday during Goshin Tai So.  Its an important message and no wonder I want to wear read all the time.

Heartworks 20191026

Went to Goshin Tai So – very powerful.  I had a very strong image of my heart and small intestine.  My heart looked very battered what with the bruises it has felt over the years and the darn in it (mended by a spider)from when it was broken after Peter died.  Despite the battering it continues to work and I see what I have to do is to allow it to receive more energy.  Which is what I think the Goshin Taiso is going to enable me to do.

After finding where the rubbish went and emptying the bins I finished the video despite getting a bit cross with it at times.  It took a long time to upload.  Probably because with Diwali a lot of people were using the internet.  Now I have two days of ‘holiday’ but I bet I find work to do.

20191025 Excited

Very exciting news today that Rachael, my youngest daughter, is getting married in January and is applying for jobs in Singapore.  I would love it if she came to live a bit closer even if it is still four hours away by plane.

Feel a bit more relaxed today.  I have less to do but the exciting news has made me feel a lot more positive about a lot of things.

I saw this bird which seemed very tame and sat still for a long time while I took this photo.  I think it was bringing me a message about freedom and spreading my wings a bit.