For the last few days I have been feeling very hungry and hollow. I am really missing having a special someone in my life. Which is perhaps exacerbated by the fact that I am communicating with lots of people, but they are mainly people like volunteers or co-workers where I am focusing on getting things done, although often I do enjoy being with them.
I do miss being intimate with someone. Perhaps David's death has brought this on - this missing of an other.
I have noticed that I keep going on the internet to look at things like new tablets. Things that I do not need by any stretch of the imagination, but things that I would like to have. Am I trying to fill myself up with things and food and........? I worry that I am even although I know to do so won't help me feel any better. Working hard doesn't help either although it does mean I get a lot of work completed!
I should be grateful for the things I have. I found out today that my money has found its way to my new bank account and there are lots of good things happening in my life.
So I will try to focus on that rather than try to fill up the hollow within.
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