I
feel it has been a very introspective day today. It is the 70th
anniversary of the D day landings and I have been thinking a lot
about my father who participated in that on what was his birthday.
He was one of the first people to be called up and so had been in the
war from the beginning. It all culminated in a nervous breakdown for
him as the war ended. There was a generation of people who in
various ways were devastated by the war which I think explains a lot
about how my parents were while I was a child.
Later
I went to the Post office to send off the first of the packages of my
personal papers to Emma. They contain letters between Shantam and
me. I always thought that sometime I would go through them and
perhaps there would be something to write about but this has never
happened. They are the only papers I haven't digitised as I just
cannot bring myself to look at them again. It brings up too many
painful memories. So I decided to send them to Emma although I don't
want her or anyone else looking at them until after I am gone. I
know where they are if I ever change my mind though.
I
felt most peculiar as I handed the first parcel to the man at the
Post office. It was as if I had bundled up this part of my life and
was letting it go. Which was further enhanced when I came back from
the Post Office and saw how clear my door looks now I have cut down a
rather overgrown shrub nearby. It is as if I am getting myself clear
for the next steps forward.
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