We
worked today, even Pierre who said he was not going to work but ended
up on fire because the Visitors Centre had asked for 4kg of lettuce
today. The morning was fine with a lot of work getting done and then
a special breakfast and 'secret Santa' organised by one of the
volunteers.
Afterwards
it was really nice just to come and quietly work on my computer, but
I felt incredibly sad. I suppose because I was missing my family,
especially the grandchildren. At the same time my stomach began to
feel very upset and sore.
I
have tried just to feel it, but at times it has felt overwhelming almost too much
to bear. Spending time reaching out to people I wanted to contact
seemed to ease it a bit, even when they have not replied. I still do
not feel very happy and as if what I am doing here is not worth very
much yet depends too much on me. Oh dear. I will be grateful for the
sparks of joy which I know are around and within me if I look and
really see what is going on.
The picture is my Christmas corner which I did despite the feelings of sadness.
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