Green hands?

I woke up this morning with an image of what the logo for the new shop is going to look like.  This picture is not at all like my image - partly because I did it on my iPad and with the internet down I didn't have access to all my photos.  But it is part of the process I think of getting a name for it as well as a logo, website and catalog.

I woke up with the name 'grow to eat' store/centre/shop, but Vivek and Noemie liked Emma's idea of 'green fingers'.  I like it as well except that in some European countries people who are good with plants have 'green thumbs' so I wonder if 'green hands' wouldn't be a better name.  I am a bit worried about having another centre at Buddha Garden, but shop doesn't sound right either in a place where we supposedly have 'no exchange of money' and we will also be supplying advice as well as practical things like tools and plants.

We have lots of ideas and I am hopefully going to update the website tomorrow.  This will mean lots of work with images as well as words which undoubtedly will lead to other ideas and names.... 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I

This is one of several pictures of Sam that I received today.  I love the way he seems to be having a conversation using his eyes and face if not his speech.

Its so hot today the air feels like it is burning.

Findhorn practice

This morning I put on an event - 'a walk around the farm'.  This was for anyone who was interested as part of the Earth Day week - we were the last activity.  It was quite early in the morning so it wasn't too hot, thank goodness, and although I had some misgivings about doing something like this on a Sunday it was very useful for me.

Yesterday I got a copy of the Findhorn poster and put it up on the notice board and used it as the first part of the event.  It seemed to work well as people were engaged with the points being made and there were some interesting questions and discussion.  

I am so pleased that I had the opportunity for doing this.  Having had this practice I now feel  more confident about doing the talk at Findhorn.

Doodle

I bought myself a sketch book today after a volunteer told me how she draws the basic things and then manipulates them digitally.  I thought I would like to try it but when it came to creating a picture today I had no ideas.  This is where the iPad is lovely - I can doodle around until something happens, which is what I did with the above.

This picture reminds me of the bamboo patch in the corner just by the bathroom.  We cut it down drastically a few months ago but of course being bamboo it is growing again, even without water.  It is a very tough plant.

Tomorrow I am doing a 'farm walk' as part of Earth Week and I will be showing the poster I made for Findhorn.  I got the copy today and am very pleased with it.  I'm also pleased to be practising the talk before I go.

Delicious long sleep

After several very intense days I had a delicious long sleep this afternoon.  It wasn't one of those sleeps where I lay down and then went unconscious for two hours or so.  I felt myself allowing myself to sleep on and on.....  I felt a little bit groggy when I woke up and started to berate myself for sleeping so long, but I obviously needed it.  I've been feeling tired and the heat and full moon has made it difficult to sleep these past few nights

Its wonderful how things get done when I put them on my do list.  I've been meaning to clean out my clothes cupboard for a long time.  I put it on my do list today and hey presto I have done it.  Wonderful.

I enjoyed doing this drawing and as I did it realised that I haven't done much over the last weeks, mainly I think because by the time I get around to doing it I feel too tired.  I've also been very tied up with doing the poster for the conference and didn't have the creative energy to do anything else.  Hopefully that can now change and I will be able to do more of these sorts of pictures.

Found

These are two things I have recently found which I feel have symbolic meaning for me.  I finally hung them up today and they do seem to exude a very positive energy.  Even although I am feeling tired as I went out this evening I came back really wanting to write about them.

The circle is an Indian bangle -  one that I could buy it any bangle shop - which I found a few weeks ago on the land as I walked back from visiting the Dog Centre which is just behind the farm.  I went there as I was writing a report for one of the Auroville groups about the problems they are experiencing.  I always pay attention when a bangle like this comes to me as I once had a very powerful dream about them and they have featured in my life ever since.  I had the dream after a very bad bout of typhoid on a New Year's eve. In the dream I dug in the soil and found water which welled up and loosened some bangles which I put on.  Since then bangles have come and gone in my life and they usually signify that something important is going on.  I feel with this one that it connects to the changes that are taking place in Buddha Garden as well as the direction in which my creative work is going.  I feel that the practices I do - a picture every day and writing 500 words of fiction - are going to bear fruit even although I sometimes feel that they are not going anywhere.

I found the fish in Buddha Garden and pinned it up on the board, but no one has taken it.  I really like this fish; I like the colours and the design which reminds me very much of similar things I saw in Malaysia, mainly from the Chinese community.  There is something very happy about this fish.  It seems to resonate with the fact that I have got friendly with Ashok from Singapore who says he is coming back to be part of Buddha Garden.

I sent off the Findhorn poster today after putting a few finishing touches to it.

It is a very powerful full moon tonight with a short eclipse in the early hours of the morning.  I didn't sleep well last night because of the moon and fear that tonight will be similar....

Done it!

At last I think I have cracked the poster for the Findhorn conference.  I have spent all afternoon doing it and it was very intense work.  

Obviously it needs more work to pretty it up, but I am pleased with the basic idea and design.

Phew!

A leafy canopy

I have really struggled today trying to do the poster on Sustainability in Buddha Garden for the Findhorn conference that I am going to in June.  I think it is slowly coming together and I hope that I will be able to finish it by the weekend when I am supposed to send it in.

In the process of doing that work I had to look through a large number of photos created by Virginie, a recent volunteer.  I came across this photo which I think is absolutely gorgeous.  It is so simple and yet it feels so alive and really lifted my spirits.  This at a time of maximum confusion as I tried to do the poster.

Sam again

It has been an intense day but the intensity has focused on words rather than pictures.  Today this picture came via Facebook and so I think it is appropriate that it is my picture for today.  I think it is absolutely gorgeous of both Tom and Sam who continues to look surprised and perplexed.  I suppose life is like that at that age.

Over the weekend I did a lot of sorting out and booking things for my trip to the UK which is now feeling much more real.  I am really looking forward to seeing and holding Sam.

Blowing in the wind

The wind turbine finally went up last week - about eighteen months after Pierre first started building it.  We still need more money to wire it up to the energy system and even then Vivek thinks that the amount of electricity that it will make is pretty limited.  Probably nowhere near enough to run the dehydrator which is what Pierre is hoping for.  I think of all the money and sweat that went into it and wonder if it was worthwhile. 

As I was watching it today it suddenly occurred to me that with the Buddha picture it is acting like a Tibetan prayer flag.  As the blades turn they are not so much making electricity as drawing in and giving out energy to the universe and in the process consolidating the energy of Buddha Garden.  It is an expensive prayer flag though.

I have had a busy day today booking up and paying a deposit for my week on Eigg as well as booking trains.  I've also done some writing work although I haven't done as much as I would like on the Findhorn poster which has got to be finished by the end of the month. That means next weekend!

I had a dream last night that my prince had come.

A silly grin

I have been riding my bike around today with such a silly grin on my face.  I don't think this drawing is very good except that it captures the silly grin exactly!  My new bike is a joy to ride and I couldn't stop smiling about it.

I feel rather tired tonight and I don't know whether that is a consequence of the yoga class, the heat or just that I have been busy - although I don't think I have been that busy in that I don't seem to have done very much.  The things I have done, however, have required a lot of my energy and attention either because I was focusing on a person or because I was talking about things in Buddha Garden that required a lot of thought.  

Love my new bike

This picture shows the sheer joy I feel at having a new bicycle.  

It was all a big surprise as when I woke up this morning I had no plans at all to go and buy a bicycle - especially one as expensive as this.  It all started when I explained to Vivek about the problem with the wheel where the rim has come off and stuck in the brake.  I phoned up Sukrit and he said I would have to take the wheel to Pondy or Koot Road to be re-spooked because he didn't have the machine to do it.  Vivek said to me that I should get a new bike because the one I have was bought just after I had my hip operations about eight years ago.  I use it nearly every day and not surprisingly it is showing its age and has recently needed quite a lot of work to keep it going.

So we went to Sukrit's place and I ended up getting the most expensive one in his shop!  As soon as I rode it I felt it was the one for me.  It felt the right size and was such a smooth ride.  Vivek said he would advance me the money and I said 'yes' before I really knew whether I had enough money or not.  Somehow it just seemed the right thing to do and when I got back I found that I do have the money, although I will probably pay in two installments which will make it easier for me.

We went and fetched the bike this afternoon and the picture was taken by Vivek just after I rode back into Buddha Garden.  Its a lovely bicycle and I look forward to lots of happy times riding it.

Better just to be rather than try to do!

This was a day when it was better just to be rather than trying to do.  

I went out to the shop this morning only to find that they didn't have what I wanted - no carrots or potatoes as they don't come until tomorrow.  Then on the way back my bike started making the most dreadful clunking noises and just when I got to the Visitors Centre refused to go any further.  It transpired that the wheel frame is broken and so gets caught on the brake, so I will have to find someone who can do that tomorrow.  Fortunately it is the front wheel so it shouldn't be too complicated to do.  Then this evening there was no water because the tap to the kitchen garden had been left on.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I've also tried to work out the traveling for my Scotland trip but couldn't figure out how to work it all in with the ferry times.  

Funny how I have also had two evening callers.  One volunteer wanting some aloe vera for what looks like quite bad sunburn and another wanting to stay another night as she hasn't managed to do everything she needs to do before she goes.

I've spent a lot of the day reading a very good book about Japan.  This was definitely a being day.

Goodbye Abbey

Today I received the photos of what we called 'the old women's group meeting' that we had last week.  It was to say 'goodbye' to Abbey who is leaving Auroville to go and live in America so that she can be nearer her grandchildren and children.  The above is a picture of Abbey who seems very happy indeed about going back.

It has made me think about the possibilities of living closer to my children and especially grand children.  I love seeing Samuel on Skype but am even more looking forward to seeing and holding him.  As to leaving Auroville - well I will wait and see how I feel when I get back to the UK.

Yesterday and today I have been talking about and booking up my trip to the UK which makes it all feel a lot more real.  Bindu is coming to Findhorn and may be joining me in Eigg.  Funny how she is pushing me to book places rather more upmarket than I would on my own.  Lets see - although I can't wait too long or all the prices will go up.

Yoga class

 

Now that my Nia classes have finished I have started going to a new yoga class.  Its the Iyengar style and quite dynamic and I really like it.  I found it demanding this afternoon but now feel very invigorated.

It was also really nice to be able to create something on the ipad and then not have to worry about lack of internet and not being able to get it onto my PC.

I'm surprised at this picture in that it doesn't seem to express anything specifically about the class - it doesn't detail any of the asanas or anything like that.  Yet it seems to express something I feel about the class.  Very odd.

'How to pick' posters

Today I have been working on the first of our 'how to pick' posters.  They are Vivek's idea as he has found that the volunteers get confused because we all seem to have different ways of doing things.  The idea is that we will decide on a picking procedure for each crop and then make a poster for each one for reference.

I started working on the beans and ladies finger poster today.  I hope they will be as successful as the planting frames (another of Vivek's ideas) which are very successful indeed.

The sound of the sea

All weekend, as I have been staying next to the sea in Puducherry, I have been listening to the sound of the sea and the wind that comes from the sea in the afternoons.  Now I am back in my own room I realise how pervasive it has been.  A very restful sound.

Its been a lovely weekend although I feel quite bad about how I have spent the whole time just lying around - so lazy!  I only went out for meals (in the canteen of the guest house or just up the road) and once to walk for a little way along the sea front.  The permission I gave myself to do as I felt obviously didn't go very deep.  My mouth is still sore but seems to be slowly getting better provided I keep up the brushing and the mouthwash.

Today is the eighth anniversary of my hip operation which changed my life.  I am so, so grateful at how it has enabled me to move better and get fit and just generally enjoy life more without pain.  If I had not had the operations I don't think I would hardly be able to move now.  I am very grateful to the doctor that did the operations and that it was available for me when I needed it.

Weekend off!

This is the view from my balcony where I am staying at Park Guest house in Puducherry for the weekend.  Yes, I am at last having a weekend off!

The Park Guest house is owned by the Ashram and must be worth a substantial amount of money because of its location - right next to the sea.  As an Ashram place it is very quiet with no smoking, drinking and other vices allowed inside.  It is also very old fashioned with original wood cupboards painted a dark beige.  But it is cheap and very restful.

I love the look of the garden, but that green stuff is grass and I hate to think how much water it takes to keep it that colour.  Especially now the summer is upon us.  So walking in the garden brings up very ambivalent feelings.

I feel so, so tired.  And my mouth is very sore and feels as if it has been burned.  I am hoping that rest and copious amounts of vitamin B will cure everything.

The dog report

This afternoon and evening I have been writing a report on the dog sanctuary which is just at the back of Buddha Garden.  The problems are being caused by the humans rather than the dogs though.

This picture is of Chaitanya and Maitri 1.  They were both once in Buddha Garden, but both of them died very young.  Dogs have a really hard life here in India.

Pierre has not given up as he recently got another puppy called Maitri 2.

The Old Women's Group

Had a lovely outing this evening with a group of women friend.  We used to call ourselves 'the women's group' but for this meeting call ourselves 'the old women's group'.  We used to meet regularly but haven't met for some time.  This get together was to say goodbye to Abbey who is leaving Auroville to go and live with her children and grandchildren in the USA.

There was gorgeous food - provided by Martina - and good conversation.  I enjoyed myself immensely.

Unfortunately the relevant picture of all of us is in Martina's camera as I forgot to bring mine.  Hopefully she won't be too long sending it to me.

Out with my friend

Went out for a meal tonight with my friend Mikael - at last.  We were meant to go out last Sunday but didn't make it much to my disappointment.  He is leaving Auroville on May 7th and this was like a goodbye celebration.

He reminded me that we have known each other for 15 years.  A time when I have gone through so much, often with him as an indispensable support.  It is with him that I have found the energy to write and create images.

I am so glad that he has found a new direction.  In the last years since he left Quiet Healing Centre, I have seen him gradually get more and more down.  It was as if the way in Auroville closed for him and there was no way for him to truly express himself.

I am really, really glad that he has found this new path.

A lovely day

Despite feeling extremely tired this morning I have had a lovely day.  I managed to get quite a lot of jobs finished and this afternoon went to a new yoga class which I really enjoyed.  I have decided that for the hot weather I will do yoga and pilates and maybe, if I am very brave, Naradi's aqua fitness class.  The thought of being in cool water to jump up and down feels both delicious and terrifying as I am very scared of water.

Had a lovely long chat with Emma but not Sam because he had gone out for a walk with his father.  She seems to be doing really well and it was great to see and talk to her.  The picture is one she sent me of their holiday in Wales.

Relaxing inside

At last my internet has come back so I was able to create this picture on my ipad and sync it to my PC.  Now I feel that I am properly into my new place I also have the time to create more pictures and to write.  I feel a considerable inner relaxation and this is what I tried to capture in the picture.

Instead of tight and taut strings there are wavy lines, and instead of stiffness there is flexibility and liquidity.  I feel there is more space inside me somehow.

Next task is to sort out all my jobs; things I need to do in the new house to get it how I like, things to do in Buddha Garden to get everything better organised, things I need to do for the conference in Findhorn.

It doesn't feel too impossible.

I feel moved

This picture shows my room as it is now with everything put away so that I don't have walk around/over piles of stuff every time I want to do something.  Tomorrow I will make a list of all the things that still need doing in this new place to make it 'finished'.  It feels pretty good to me as it is though - a good base from which to go out and work tomorrow.

Its been a day of highs and lows.  One high was the Nia dance class at 8.00am - gorgeous time to have a class and this one was very interesting as we did all the 52 Nia moves that are the basis of the dance.  Low was when the person I was supposed to be going out with this evening decided at the last minute to cancel.  

Underneath those variations though, I feel a strong sense of something moving and being part of a positive deeper rhythm of the universe.

Drowning in my do list

This is the first day since I have been doing this blog that I have decided that I really haven't the time to create a picture.  I feel I have been running all day to catch up - and haven't actually caught up!  

Its not helped by the internet not working so even if I did manage to create a picture (I might maybe later on) I would have a lot of difficulty getting it onto my PC  because I need the internet for that.  I have only managed to upload yesterday's picture just before I started writing tonight.

I can't think of an existing picture I could use that might represent something of today's experiences.  I don't have a picture of me drowning!

Moving day

Somehow we have managed to move today, me into my new room which used to be the dormitory and the office where I used to live.  Rajan's friends came at 7.30am so at least it was cool in the beginning. This was how it looked when all my things had been moved.  How on earth do I manage to accumulate so much stuff?  Although I have less now than I used to - especially books which I read electronically.

 I sweated and pushed and pulled and carried for the rest of the day to at least put everything away so I can move around the room.  There is a lot of sorting out and cleaning still to do, however, as well as hopefully get rid of a lot of junk.

Annoyingly the phone people still haven't come to change the phones around so I don't have any internet apart from my Reliance (wireless) connection.  This means its very difficult to sync stuff from my ipad.  Sounds like the Telephone service is going through some sort of crisis and can't get the work organised properly.

I went to Nia class and am so glad I did.  I felt really tired but as always it managed to raise my energies.  Last class is tomorrow morning early and then it will be yoga for a while.  Probably just as well given how hot it is now.

Jangle in the air

I seem to have spent - I have spent - most of the day in front of my computer trying to get up to date with all the writing things that I have to do.  At the same time I have felt a jangling in the air from all the demands on my time and energy.  I am supposed to be moving tomorrow but just don't have the time, so I have postponed it to Saturday when it will just have to happen because I don't want to wait any longer.

At least I will have the time to do it on that day.  

To help myself I think I must also take things step by step and not get worried about the things that I don't have time to do right now.  I can only do what I can do and the rest will have to take care of itself.  

My stomach is playing up and I think it is telling me that I need to calm down and just trust that all that needs to get done will get done.

Samuel's smile

I really wish I could have had time to create a picture today.  Vivek came this morning to help with the work and it made such a lot of difference.  Pierre always wants to go and do his own thing with a few volunteers, but Vivek helps with the organisation in a way that makes the work much less conflicting for me.  I didin't have to think of and organise a lot things all at the same time.  I didn't feel pulled in different directions all the time and best of all, I didn't feel weighed down by all the work and all the joy of life squeezed out of me.

We had an ASAF meeting this afternoon and immediately afterwards another meeting at Windarra to try and help them move toward some resolution of the conflict there.  Usually after such meetings I feel like a limp rag, but this time I felt quite energised.

I am smiling - just like Samuel.

In the grobag

Another very busy day when I have been talking, in meetings and writing notes.  This picture came sailing into all of this from Emma - Samuel in his 'grobag'.  

As Emma says, maybe there should be some compost in the bottom of it to help him grow some more! 

Where I am going to stay in June

Its been a day when I feel I haven't managed to get on top of anything.  Where I have been running all day but haven't managed to keep up.  I think part of the reason is that I have been trying to sort out my Findhorn trip which has had its challenges and which seems so far away from what I am experiencing here.

It seems that I have to arrive in Findhorn for the conference by 11.00am on Saturday 22nd but I there is no train I can catch from Manchester on that day that will get me there anywhere near the right time.  Also the train tickets on that day are eye wateringly expensive, because its a Saturday I presume. Graham suggested that I come up on Friday and find somewhere to stay in Findhorn the night before, but that means writing emails to a list of people on the website, most of which are likely to be full - June being to Findhorn what February is to Auroville.

I decided instead to go up on the Friday and stay in Inverness on Friday night and then I just have to get from Inverness to Findhorn on Saturday morning which should be quite easy.  The tickets up on Friday are really cheap even when I decided to go first class.  I couldn't believe the price - only twenty seven pounds.  Then the room is only thirty pounds so altogether I am spending much less than if I tried to stay in Findhorn Friday night or came up on the overnight train.

All in all it seems to have worked out well, but booking up so far ahead I think has made me feel that I am living in two different universes, which is a bit disorientating.  I wanted the picture today to be of the guest house where I am going to stay.  I downloaded it from the website but it is typical of how things are going today - that I can't quite accomplish what needs to be done - that I haven't managed to upload it to this blog.  Its not helped by the internet playing up again, apparently because of a cable being damaged in Egypt.

Ah well. At least I was able to go to Nia dance and dance away my frustrations.