Trying to rain

It feels like its trying very hard to rain but not quite managing to do so.  This is the sky around the wind turbine  and although it looks like there are rain clouds, in another part of the sky the sun was shining brightly.  Today there has been thunder but it hasn't come to anything.

Last night there was a very light rain during my yoga class which was enough to make Amer run out and cover up the cashews that had been put out to dry.  It made the night a lot cooler and as a result we all slept a lot better.  It was noticeable how everyone seemed to be much more relaxed this morning before we started work.

I can smell rain as I write this, so there must be some in the vicinity somewhere.....

Something interesting

I had a bit of time spare this afternoon but I couldn't think of anything I wanted to draw or colour.  So I took my camera and went out in search of something interesting and found this.  In an area just in front of the CSF office there was a maze of string and sticks.  

This morning I had watched Rajan and Bharati working there making careful measurements and putting sticks and string everywhere.  There was one string stretched across the path that I tripped over several times and has now thankfully been removed.  

Even now I don't know exactly what it is except that it is going to be some sort of display area for the new Green Hand Growing Centre.  I gather there may even be some working irrigation equipment.....

I will be very interested to see how it turns out.

What I would like to be able to do.

I would like to be able to stand on my head.

As I was early to the yoga class and had my iPad with me I drew this picture of something I really want to be able to do.  

I have found it such a struggle to stand on my head, the problem being what is in my head rather than anything physical.  Getting into that position brings up huge fears which increases my natural wobbliness. Although at this evening's class I was able to try to get into the position without experiencing quite the level of fear I had at first.

When I think how the yoga has helped me regain so much flexibility I feel that I should be able to stand on my head if I practice regularly an give myself enough time and encouragement.....

Fireworks in the afternoon

There is a festival happening in the nearby village which started with a very noisy explosion of fireworks.  Since it was the early afternoon and the sun was shining it was impossible to actually see any of the fireworks, but I had this inner sense of all the colours which I put in this picture.  The sound of the fireworks sparked off the colours and shapes in my mind.

The festival is - according to Amer, our watchman - 'to keep the rain God happy' so that the summer rains won't be delayed.  There are lots of coloured lights all over the temple and some kind of noisy band is playing as I write this. Its supposed to last several days, but no one seems very clear about that.  Perhaps it depends on whether rain comes or not.

We had some lightening and thunder tonight so perhaps rain isn't so far away and we could certainly do with it.

Hot sleep

With it being so hot sleeping can be a problem.  I think this picture expresses very well the peculiar positions I put myself in to try and somehow feel a bit cooler. No wonder I wake up feeling that I haven't slept very well. 

Despite working early in the morning when it is (relatively) cooler I often find myself feeling quite tired during the day.  I had a very long sleep this afternoon when the combined effects of not sleeping well at night and working physically quite hard in the heat caught up with me.

Working with images

               

I spent this morning working on a background page for the Green Hands Growing Centre part of the website and these two pictures are what I came up with.  I really enjoyed doing them.

When I did the first one on the left I didn't like it that much, but seeing them both together I now like it much more and better than the one on the right.  Somehow the green is a bit too bright I think....

I have sent them to Vivek and will see what he thinks.  Maybe he will want something completely different.

yoga

At last!  I found the time to create my own picture, this time of myself in one of my yoga classes.  Looking at it I don't think it is obvious that I am lying on the floor (not sitting up) and the perspective is looking down from above.  I tried to include the blue breath imagined going up the sides of the body but wasn't able to manage that.

I have really enjoyed these yoga classes but they seem to have made me very hungry and yet slowed me down a lot.  Despite that I seem to get quite a lot done.  Today I finished cleaning out the room at the back of Pierre's place where the new professional kitchen is going and I have just finished the annual Farm group report for Jeff.  The do list doesn't feel so overwhelming now although I have to start getting all the bits and pieces together for going to the UK.

Next week, the last before Pitanga closes, there will be yoga classes every night 5 -7pm.  I am going to treat it as a yoga intensive and try to go every night.

A bit sad

For various reasons I'm feeling a bit sad today and missing people - those who have died as well as those who are far away like my daughters.  So thought I'd cheer myself up with this recent picture of Sam who seems very alert these days.  He looks very intently at me when I am on skype with Emma.

Another day when trying to get everything done has been a big effort although things are moving forward.  Next week there is going to be yoga every evening  Monday to Friday.  I realise I don't have to go every day - but actually this is what I would like to do.  Its lovely to have the opportunity which doesn't come very often. 

Maybe I need to rearrange my work and hopefully I will be able to get a lot done this weekend when I wont be going to any classes.

Too busy and.....

Once again I have been so busy today I haven't had a chance to create a picture.  I seem to have so much to do and yet I don't seem to be able to push myself hard enough to get everything done that needs to get done.  I don't know whether it is the heat or the yoga classes which seem to uncover in my body how I really feel - which is pretty tired.

I've got a lot of practical things to do like clearing out the new professional kitchen, which I don't think will get done unless I do it.  Or at least start doing it.  Pierre hardly seems to be in Buddha Garden these days and when he is he seems very scattered and distracted.  I feel he needs a bit of a push to get going in the new direction, but I am feeling too tired to do it.

I finished the website today and that is where the picture comes from.  I remember this machine which, unusually for me as I don't normally think of machines in this way, I thought was rather sweet and character - full.  Here it is struggling to dig a hole because the soil was too dry.

Part of the reason for being so busy is that I am going to a yoga course that is on 5.00 - 7.00pm every evening which I realize takes quite a chunk out of my day.  I am enjoying it and am determined to continue during this time when we aren't quite so busy.  I feel it makes a very positive difference to my body.

Our pond

Once again the picture comes from the website which I have been updating again today.  Only one more section to do so nearly finished.

This is a picture of the pond we dug in 2011 to try and divert water that comes off the forest area to another large pond outside our fence.  Digging the pond was not without its excitement what with having to bring in a JCB and finding at first the soil was too dry for even this machine to dig.  After some rain when we could start digging in earnest someone had to sit with the JCB to make sure it kept moving and wasn't just sitting there with the motor on, pretending that work was happening but in reality trying to extend the time to be paid!

I remember how we all rushed down to the pond as soon as the first good rain of the monsoon came and how gratified we all felt as the pond filled up.  It was also great that the pond worked as planned.  Once the pond filled up the water via the channel at the back to the next pond near the fence and when that pond filled up it overflowed to the very large village pond just outside our fence.  Unfortunately the rain kept coming and coming and the village pond overflowed which meant that we still got some flooding - but not as much as if  our pond hadn't been there.

I would love to dig another large pond on the lower field and use the soil from the pond to make terraces which don't get flooded.  But this is a very expensive activity and at the moment I don't know where we would find the money to do it.

Lovely fruit!

Once again the picture for today comes from the work I have been doing updating the website.  I was doing the section on fruit and added something about the Surinam cherries that we had this year for the first time.  As their name suggests, the tree originated in Indonesia but seems to do quite well in Auroville in our kitchen garden.

What I loved about them was how I was able to go and pick the cherries and eat them straight off the tree.  This is the best, maybe the only, way of eating them as they don't last long enough to get them to the shop to sell.  They have a very unusual tart taste and I think would make a wonderful ingredient in one of Pierre's compotes.  When they are warm they taste of the sun.

This picture reminded me of all that.

More for the website

I've been doing more website updating today which has included taking some pictures.  This is my favourite one of our nursery mixture in which we plant our seeds.

It looks so pregnant with possibilities.

Remembering the apprentices

I've been updating the website again - and got far more done than I expected.  One of the sections I had to update was about our apprenticeship program.  Reading the report I wrote about our successes and failures it all came flooding back.  It was a very challenging time.

This is a picture of the first group which I think overall was quite a positive experience.  I think almost everyone got something out of the course and several of them went on to do interesting things.  Rajan is now part of the Buddha Garden team, Selvam became an Aurovilian and works in Annapurna farm and most of the others have found themselves jobs, got married etc.

The second group were much less positive and it seemed that most of them were on the course to do as little as possible for the stipend that we gave them. After a year of trying to get them interested in what we were doing and getting very little response the final straw was when they started stealing from us.  It was all so negative we decided to close the course early.  

We are still open to having apprentices, but they have to show us they are serious about wanting to learn.

Updating the website

This picture is one of several I took for the website.  It shows one of the misters in the nursery which are great to go and stand under in this very hot weather.

Unfortunately, once again I over estimated how much of the updating work on the website I would get done.   I got up early  and spent several hours working on it only to find that I had got very little completed.  We are making some large changes to it so the amount of work seems to go on increasing.  I felt quite overwhelmed.

I have therefore decided that from now on I will try to do a little every day.  Trying to complete everything in a few weekends is obviously unrealistic, especially when there is quite a variety of work to do - taking photos, writing material and then having to talk about it with various people.  I think its yet another of those jobs where its better to do it slow and steady.

I also felt very tired today, but when I went to the yoga class I found that everyone else is feeling the same.  Its the heat and we have to find ways to adjust to it.  Writing in the early morning and in the evening when it is cooler is one way of doing it.

Written out

I feel so very tired tonight, far too tired to create a picture.  I spent the morning in a meeting as well as writing it up this afternoon evening and then doing the amendments of other meeting notes.  There is also a lot still to deal with in Buddha Garden and of course it is still very hot.  I don't feel like doing anything for two hours in the middle of the day.

So I searched through my pictures to find a one I could use for today.

This is my favourite picture of Sam.  I think his personality comes beaming through his face.

Cashew picking

This is a picture taken by Rajan of me just before going cashew picking.  

We should be in the middle of cashew picking but it is a very slow start.  One or two trees have given quite a lot but most of them don't seem to have started making nuts yet.  Rajan says it is the same everywhere and might be something to do with the heat and dryness.  We have one tree where there are lots of nuts but they and the fruit in particular, are quite small.  So maybe it is the dryness.

Its a very insect ridden job as I have to rootle around under the trees picking up the nuts where there are always lots of ants around.  Then it is often a sticky job separating the nut from the fruit.  

Rooting energy

Its been a busy day and it feels like there is a lot going on particularly in Buddha Garden.  I very much want to gather together all the scattered food processing activities that Pierre is doing.  At present fruit is cut up near the volunteer kitchen, dried behind his house, packed in the office.... all over the place.  I suggested that I move to the cottage and then Pierre could use my place as the kitchen.  I feel it is very urgent as fruit is coming into Buddha Garden but somehow Pierre is not organised to deal with it properly.  His last lot of fruit didn't dehydrate properly (and it led to an electricity black out last night because he drained the batteries) and they are full of mold and insects.  It was a complete waste.

Vivek said that he did not want me to move to the cottage as he felt it would not be good for me.  I know it wouldn't be as nice as the place I am in now but I felt I could deal with it, especially if giving Pierre my place brought all his food processing stuff together.  We then thought that perhaps Pierre could move his activities to the cottage which in some ways would be good because there are two rooms there and one could be used as a cashew store.  In the end though, Pierre has opted to stay where he is and to refurbish his back room as a kitchen with the cashews being stored in the small store room which we cleared at the weekend.

According to Vivek my role is to 'root' the energy in Buddha Garden and I feel as if I have been doing that over the last weeks.  I feel there are a lot of changes happening with a lot of energy around that somehow I do bring together and anchor.  That is what the picture is meant to show although I don't think it shows how tiring it can be doing this.  All the disparate energy comes through me and is in some way transformed and my body needs to be strong to do this.

The cow that jumped into Buddha Garden

This is the cow trap at the entrance of Buddha Garden which until a few nights ago had kept out the cows.  One cow had found a way of jumping over it and has been coming in at night and causing a lot of damage.  It came to one side of the gate and jumped over diagonally.

This morning Pierre made something that will hopefully keep the cow out.  It is light and didn't cost anything, was very simple to make and easy to use.

So hopefully no more nibbled maize and bean seedlings.  Unless of course the cow finds a way of getting over it........................ Problem is that with the very hot weather there is little vegetation for the cow to eat.  They are very motivated to find somewhere like Buddha Garden which must have provided a gourmet feast.

Rain, glorious rain!

This morning it was very grey and it started raining soon after we started work early in the morning.  It was a very fine rain and of course it brought the temperature down which was really great.  It was grey and overcast for the rest of the day.

The picture expresses how I felt about it.  The sense of the fine rain everywhere with the very big grey sky.  And the wonderful relief, for just a little while, of being a little bit cooler.

In the picture I think the rain is a bit too colourful and the drops a bit too big, but maybe that's part of the celebration I wanted to express.

Updating the website

The internet line was working today so I took the opportunity to do some updating on the website.  The hacking made a mess of parts of the site and a lot of pictures are missing.  It is going to be a slow job to update the whole site and I think I must try and do a little every day so it doesn't feel too overwhelming.  This depends on having a decent internet line, however, as otherwise it is too slow and frustrating to do.  I am aiming to finish by the end of May.

I created the above patchwork type picture from some of the pictures I choose to go in the slideshow on the home page.

Bringing order to the store room

This morning, despite the heat, I managed to finish off clearing out and bringing some order into the store room.  Rajan helped when he arrived and then helped his friend who he had asked to come to put up the new shelf that the paint pots now stand on.  We threw out a lot of junk including a lot of paint gone hard and unusable.  Everything else we put into labeled pots and bags so there is a place for everything.

I am very pleased with the result.  

I wonder how long it is going to stay this well ordered!

Big sun

Yesterday, the first day for a very long time, I didn't manage to create a picture.  I was too busy trying to fit in not only all the stuff that I normally have to do, but also the last day of my yoga course.  Having managed to do the first two days I was determined to do this last day and left a meeting early in order to do so.  I am so glad I did the course as my body feels very different - more deeply relaxed.

Today has been exceptionally hot and also very busy but at least I didn't have to cycle around in the hot sun as I had to do yesterday.  I went right to the other side of Auroville at the hottest time of the day, only to find that the meeting place had changed to the Town Hall which I had passed on my way there.  No one had thought to tell me and I don't think anyone cares - or perhaps they are not even aware - that I am getting around on a bicycle which is hard work in this sort of weather.

In this picture I have tried to create the sense of the sun as I feel it now.  Very large and making everything limp, covered in dust and somehow sort of blurry.  I don't think I have done it very well but is the best I can do.  Its so hard to show the way in which I can't get away from the heat and the way it slows me down and stops me sleeping properly.  The way it seems to be so overbearing in every part of my existence.

Phew!

Getting things in order

Over the last two days I have been getting things in order.  This is a picture of the key cupboard which I have wanted to do for ages and was pushed into doing yesterday because Sivakala came without the key to the store cupboard and no one knew where the duplicate was.  We wasted a huge amount of time and energy and several phone calls to find the duplicate key.  Hopefully that won't happen again because this is where the such keys are kept.

This morning I also ordered the shelf where all the food processing packaging is kept:

It will look even better tomorrow when all the bits are put in labelled trays - labels, bags, etc.  Rajan is going to get the trays tonight.

I have also got the telephone problem ordered with an excel sheet showing when we make complaints and what, if anything happens.  Funny how it makes me feel more in control of the situation when of course I am not.....

Shall we have wireless?

I seem to have spent a lot of today focusing on trying to sort out various problems - or challenges depending on how you look at it I suppose.  I spent some time this afternoon talking about various possibilities for sorting out our internet and telephone problems.  One solution is to get the cable dug up and see if there are any joins that could be repaired better - this is much cheaper than replacing the cable.  Another solution is to see if we could get a WiMax system installed that would provide us with internet wirelessly.  I like the idea but I don't think Pierre would.

What is clear is that there are no other internet providers in this area other than BSNL so we have to somehow get them to take responsibility for the system.  From now on we have to be far more pro-active about making complaints when the system doesn't work.  I realise that we put up with a huge amount of hassle from the system without contacting BSNL, but that is going to change!

A lot of things don't seem to be working.  It took me ages to get the printer working so I could scan the above picture.  After trying and trying various things I have no idea why it suddenly started to work.  As I write this the internet connection has gone off.  I went back to my room and it has taken two goes to get the Reliance connection working.

I just feel tired with it all.....

Stuck

I heard today that it is impossible to bring my phone back to life with the existing cable and the only way to get it working again is to install a new cable.  This is likely to be an expensive business as it means digging a trench and then laying a cable over at least 500 meters.  Three weeks ago were told that the existing cable is all right, now suddenly, for some unaccountable reason it isn't and they can't mend our phone line.

Now I am in a chicken and egg situation where BSNL say they will not do anything with the cable because it was put in by the Auroville Telephone Service and the Auroville Telephone Service say that it is BSNL's responsibility.

This afternoon Rajan and I went on a trip to explore other possibilities for the internet in Buddha Garden.  Vodaphone have a portable wifi system but we found out that it won't work where we are because they only have 2G available and to have a reasonably fast connection we need 3G.  There was some talk of a possibility from Aircell, but as their office is in the back of beyond in Pondy we didn't have the time to check that out.  I am seeing the head of the Auroville Telephone Service tomorrow and see if something can be worked out but I don't hold out too much hope.  According to him there are 'political problems' which usually means that nothing can be done.

So it looks like we are stuck.

The picture is of the BSNL Auroville Telephone exchange where we went to find out that they wouldn't do anything about our cable.  The grey room was dominated by this huge construction where all the wires came together - as Rajan explained - this is where all our telephone wires end up!

A goodbye

Today I will be saying goodbye to Mikael who is leaving Auroville tomorrow for an extended time.  This is the picture I created for him using a technique that Elisa told me about.  I drew the picture, scanned it and then coloured it using my graphic software.  I am very pleased with the result and think I will do more like this.

I am very sad about him going but it is so obviously the right thing for him to do.  The mantra at the bottom is a protective mantra that helps to build up internal energy to see our path more clearly and to help us follow it.

Stretched

I drew this picture this morning, the image coming from something I did in yoga class - although the yoga class wasn't until the afternoon.  So I don't know why I wanted to draw it in the morning except it was a very clear image wanting to be drawn.  Looking at it, if I imagine the mat is not there I could be climbing up a hill on my hands and knees and today has been a bit like that.  

I have had dreadful trouble with the internet and phone line which still isn't working.  I had to phone up the Telephone Service several times and they were not very helpful, just telling me that 'the technician has been informed.'  When the technician finally turned up he couldn't do anything because the phone line wasn't working and he couldn't do anything about it because that is not his work.  He just looks at the internet connection.  It was too late to get anything done on the phone line.

Then while I was getting my lunch my sandals broke and now the only footwear I have are my cloggs which are OK but very hot for this weather.

I've also been feeling rather depressed but the yoga has helped that.

Slumped

I've been rather depressed today with things getting me miserable that ought not to get to me like that.  I've been feeling really down about the situation in Windarra and I am not even a part of it.  Everyone is giving their point of view on the internet, some people have got entirely the wrong end of the stick and many people are looking for someone to blame.  Its all very depressing and reminds me of what it was like when the Adventure community was breaking up.

I still don't have my internet line back.  Apparently the internet is back for 90% of people in Auroville and we are in the unlucky 10%.  According to the Auroville Telephone Service they are going around everyone who still doesn't have  a working line but it is slow work. Sometimes the modems have to be re-set and in my case they have got to get the phone line going as well.

The heat doesn't help and my tooth is starting to bother me again.  I have gone back to using a mouthwash and cleaning my teeth three times a day and it does feel a bit better.  Maybe I am expecting too much too soon as the dentist did say that it would take at least two months to get properly better.

The picture expresses how slumped I feel with very little energy.  Maybe I need to do something nice but in this heat everything feels like a lot of effort and I'm not sure I have enough energy.

Green hands growing

Today I took some pictures of hands which I coloured a rather ghostly green.  Its the first step of creating a logo for what we are going to call the 'Green Hands Growing Centre - everything you need to grow food.'

Unfortunately I can't upload the picture today because my internet is still off and the other line is very unsteady so I can't send the picture from my iPad to my PC.  I'm really annoyed about the internet.  I was told to contact the Telephone company and they tried to cancel the job ticket without doing the job!  I've got another job ticket but its such a waste of time as every time it takes two or three goes to get through to anyone and each time I wait ages before someone talks to me.

They promised that everything would be restored before the end of the day, but fortunately I took that promise with a pinch of salt.

Remembering with a warm feeling

Today has been a holiday, one of the few that we take in Buddha Garden because it comes at a time of year when we are not too busy and can therefore afford to not work for a day.

I have been spending time updating the website which I have found a somewhat tedious job which is obviously going to take much longer than this one day that I have set aside to do it.  In doing so, however, I have come across this old photo of what the land was like when I first started Buddha Garden.  Covered with miserable looking eucalyptus trees struggling to survive.

The memories came flooding back about what it took to get the place started and all the things that have happened since it began.  Amazing to think how I came here just myself and two daughters, both of whom are now getting on with their lives in the UK.  Amazing to see how Buddha Garden has developed in ways that I would not have thought possible when I took my first steps onto this land.