I really don't understand myself sometimes.... For the first day of the year its been very quiet and I have done just ordinary things - got a visit from Vivek and Noemie, went to get my lunch and met a few people, did a lot of work on my computer etc. The sun was shining from time to time and I felt OK. I didn't feel ecstatic but I didn't feel bad either - things were just flowing.
Suddenly I get this email from someone with whom I have found it difficult to communicate and it is like depression descends and I feel really miserable and grey. I forget all about the many things I have to be grateful for and all I can think of is what I haven't got. And it happens in the blink of an eye.
Glad I am going to Nia dance later on which will be a lovely present to myself to start the New Year.
Just for fun I looked at what I wrote at the beginning of last year and found this:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIRnmztFEPalDMtOHK5JcrXdA-WLlVy_dpz90BiNT0kSnBYnL9s9a_TMBi4A4nZPI510ON0NUCn3-uFX1KoZUy3qhav9vDKCc0mEtiKRLGPKN9PxtbZlRmWeXDTRq0UMVl-SUKt4rbV0qN/s1600/010113+in+the+pink+(480x640).jpg)
I had forgotten that I was then still living in the place which is now Buddha Garden office. I am reminded of all the positive changes that have happened in the last year. How far Buddha Garden has developed and the things I have done like going to the Findhorn conference and seeing Sam.
I am also reminded of how life goes up and down and know that I must try to be balanced whatever happens. Maybe that should be my motto for this year - going for balance.
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